Behind Schedule

It’s been a while since I last provided an update. I am behind schedule. I had intended to provide some kind of update about once per month and now it’s been almost two! Mike and I bought a house in Florida and have been busy setting up and moving in. That’s my excuse.

Meanwhile, our little ill-fated excursion has been in the news…

The New York Times, CNN, Good Morning America, and other news outlets are covering the Life at Sea cruises debacle. Their reports have been surprisingly accurate so I don’t need to recount much here. In short, back in late November, Miray promised to issue us refunds in three monthly payments starting in mid-December. Can you guess what happened next? Nothing. Shocking!

As usual, they are behind schedule.

The residents (are we still considered residents? is it too late for that term now?) are all pissed. We are pissed that the current Miray employees have chronically over-promised and under-delivered. Although, I guess they’ve been consistent that way. They continue to claim that they are working tirelessly on things, just to flop around like a fish on a dock. It’s exhausting to watch.

We are pissed at the former Miray employees—namely Kendra Holmes, the so-called CEO—who at least weekly during the sales process told us all, quite condescendingly and ad nauseam, not to worry or complain because their team was extremely experienced and knew exactly what they were doing. But, when things started to go awry, she went completely radio silent for weeks on end, quit the company and vanished entirely when the proverbial ship hit the fan (or didn’t leave the dock? or didn’t, you know, exist?!?). She never even told us she had left; she simply updated her LinkedIn profile dates from Miray and ghosted us all when we needed her to step up the most.

(Actually, to be fair, that’s not completely true. She did eventually record and post a video to sell us on the new venture she was now the CEO of—another three-year cruise in development with a new company and some members of the old Miray team! Hooray! Can’t wait! Now, I usually hesitate to criticize other women leaders, but I could write a thesis on her lack of self-awareness, communication, organization, focus, leadership and integrity…)

And, naturally, many of the residents are even pissed at each other, which tends to happen in a leadership accountability vacuum (see: airplane travel, society under racism, Trump in any circumstance). We bicker about when and whether to believe Miray, how far behind schedule Miray is allowed to be, what the appropriate next steps are, who has borne the worst brunt of things, how many .gif posts are too many, who is mentally stable, etc.

Miray is overdue with our refunds per their own schedule. They insist they will repay us in full, but I wonder where this money is; they’ve had what I would consider significant expenses. They did try to purchase a ship and are on record saying they paid a multi-million dollar deposit that they lost (which is what makes me believe that this whole thing wasn’t a malicious scam, but rather a not-so-funny-when-its-happening-to-you comedy of errors). They purchased materials to refurbish said ship, so they need to pay those vendors. Anybody need several hundred custom-sized recycled ocean plastic mattresses? They paid for staff, PR firms and ad placements. What about the rampant inflation in Turkey? Perhaps the interest on the remainder will grow fast enough over three months to make us whole? I haven’t done the math and I doubt they have either.

Those of us who paid with credit cards are submitting disputes while we still can. Some of us have filed with the Attorney General in Florida. Miray maintains that they are trying. I believe they want to do the things they say; they are just woefully inept dreamers. But their inability to execute on pretty much anything is like watching someone swim through honey in a nightmare.

Which brings me to another lesson: putting blind faith in anyone who promises incredible things can be dangerous. I see it all too often. We need to apply more critical thinking. We need to remove the rose-colored glasses and be willing to ask, “What could go wrong here?”. We need more scenario planning more often, thoroughly preparing for the worst. You’ll be a smash hit at the next party!

In our case, before we decided to join we considered:

Q: What if this is a scam? What if they take our money and run?

• We won’t pay in full for a tiny discount to hedge against theft.

• We make sure that we can afford to lose this money and determine our risk tolerance.

• We pay with a credit card to have an extra layer of insurance.

Q: What if we sail late?

• We need to find a hospitable relative with a comfortable arrangement.

• We travel on our own to kill time.

Q: What if we don’t sail at all?

• We need to decide where we would live next and research that area to make sure we like it and understand the situation and requirements there.

  • Would we rent or buy?

    • What would we buy?

In addition to the considerable amount of work we did to plan for actually sailing, we made damn sure we also had a back-up plan or two at every stage of possible failure. Doing this takes a lot of additional mental energy. It takes skepticism. It takes creative, dark scenario planning. And it takes cooperation from your travel partner if you have one. But planning up front saves you from the pressures of confronting issues for the first time under duress when that long-shot, shitty scenario pops up. Hopefully it never shows, but if it does, you’ll already know what to do and that will fast-track your success.

I’m not just talking about a silly cruise. It could be retirement planning. It could be a real estate deal. It could be a job opportunity. It could be a marriage proposal. “He’s hot. I do!” It could be defending democracy. How could this affect me and/or others negatively? Make your list: Optimal, Good, Bad, Devastating. Lay it out there. It can be difficult but it’s worth the effort.

Our reluctant plan B was to land in sunny Florida—and here we are, Disney passes and all! We managed to find a cute house in just two days, thanks to our accomplished realtor. Our offer was accepted the same day. We closed a week early and moved in before Christmas. All this progress in only three weeks, but after being displaced since September, it still felt like it toook soooo looooong.

And with this upheaval, I feel behind schedule. Of course, there’s all the regular reintegration requirements of buying a car, getting laundry machines, assembling furniture, hanging curtains. Plus we had the holidays, so naturally I was late sending our physical holiday cards and I still haven’t sent our holiday email. (Our fans are devastated.) Before we moved, I couldn’t wait to get my very own exercise space. With my rock-solid New Year’s resolution, I knew I would immediately and constantly be in there sculpting myself into the Adonis that I am, right? Nope. I am behind schedule on my behind-toning schedule, too. Shame!

But these deadlines are self-imposed and only really affect us. We prioritize the priorities and leave the rest for another day. And that’s okay. The key is making sure you really nail the big stuff and give yourself grace with the rest.

So, several weeks behind my own schedule, I present my case in opposition of blind faith decisions. I think they are especially dangerous in our current, largely “buyer beware” society. There are illegal and fully-legal scams everywhere. It’s a minefield out there. But we are so busy these days! Who has time to sit and think anymore? Certainly nobody has time to do any more. Hopefully someone else has selflessly thought this all through, right?

Those who have studied American history recognize the term laissez-faire and know that this practice has festered in our country before. And in the past, the federal government has stepped in to provide protections for its citizens.

But in many ways those protections are eroding before our very eyes. Special interests, huge corporations, billionaires, politicians and even Supreme Court justices are becoming making themselves impervious to accountability. Us citizens, sorry, “consumers” are left to our own devices to distinguish truth from fiction. So more and more, the sunkissed, buffed up sales pitch that sounds like a no-brainer is too often just a greasy tan-in-a-can scheme veiling a pale, anemic work product or even worse, corruption. (“Hey Siri, add self-tanner to the shopping list.” I’ll definitely start exercising next week…)

Applying critical thinking can be useful, say, when you consider who you’ll promote at work. Do you choose the kiss-ass who is always casually chatting in the breakroom and telling you how great you are? Or do you look for the unsung hero who silently goes above and beyond? A great showman typically isn’t also an incredible worker or leader. An excellent producer rarely feels comfortable bragging. Few people have the time nor the talent to do both exceptionally well.

Applying critical thinking is also especially helpful when you consider who you’ll vote for in November. The “R” or “D” listed beside a name isn’t a reliable guide for a wise decision-maker. Name recognition isn’t, either. An entertainer typically isn’t also an outstanding policy expert. (Okay, Obama. But he’s an outlier. And I’m not saying never.) An excellent leader rarely feels comfortable cheating, slandering or threatening their fellow citizens with violence. Few politicians have the time nor the talent to perform both for the cameras and their constituents.

So, please, let’s all start thinking about the pros and the cons of big decisions ahead of time more often. What’s important to you? Do your research. Scenario plan. Which do you prefer? What are you going to do?

There is such a thing as too little too late, especially when your decisions and actions affect others.

Mike and me simultaneously in Italy and Orlando at Epcot = /